"I couldn't talk about how I felt for weeks and I bottled everything up. I wasn't allowing my heartbreaks to heal and I guess I wasn't making any effort to get out from the heartbreak as well. I just couldn't pick myself up because all the heartbreaks were too painful that pain killers wouldn't help. I was so frustrated about myself and everything because I couldn't understand why things happened this way. I've tried to not to think about it but I just couldn't bring myself to. When are all these shits going to end?"

There were many blog posts that I've never published before and that was one of them. When I look back now at most of the blog posts I've written, I remember I thought I would never be able to open myself up again. Although those were some pages of life that I wish that I could rip off, throw them away and forget them. However, I don't want to forget all the feelings I felt and all the lessons I learned because they are reminders to me to never allow myself to back to that point ever again. Besides, they are also a part of me. I realized those sleepless nights, those painful heartbreaks and those meaningless days that you think you could never get through will just be your memories after you get through it. Don't blame others for putting you through all these bad times because you were the one that allow them to do so, find a way to get through it and you will learn a lesson. :) Regardless of my past heartbreaks and all the heartbreaks awaiting me in the future, I believe things will get better.

Sometimes, I really wish I could travel back time with all the wisdom I have now and go through those years again. If I could travel back time, so many things I would do differently and decisions I would change but of course it's just sometimes. Because all the past experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. I really wish I could share all my wisdom with my past self which is not possible. So I wish I could share them with those people who can relate and give some advice. :) And, I hope I can aspire to be the best version of myself one day.

Don't dwell on the past so much that you forget to live in the present. Have faith in yourself, stay strong and good luck! ♡

See you soon!