Some of you may already know that I was struggling with my weight issue when I was in college, as I've mentioned in my previous post and my first blog post. And now after 7 months I'm finally at a place where I feel comfortable and confident enough to open up about this.

Well, I should begin on my childhood years. As a child I was not overweight (I've never been overweight) and I was pretty skinny till I hit puberty. However, the weight came back off quickly when I hit 14 although I don't really exercise when I was in high school. My weight doesn't really concern me as people around me don't really talk about my size or weight back then, except my brother who was constantly teasing about my weight. After graduated from high school, I lost some weight as I was preparing myself for prom.

At age 18, my weight started to climb. That was when I started to stay at hostel in my college and I ate quite a lot. And, I continued eating like a teenager, never thinking what I was putting into my body. The portion of the food that I consumed when I was staying at hostel was 2 times bigger than the portion of the food that I eat at home. I didn't notice any changes in my body or my weight at first because I was having fun staying up late at night and eating suppers every night.

During 3rd semester of my college, some of my "friends" started to criticize how fat I was and how much weight I've gained (thank you so much, "friends"). Although I've gained around 5 kilograms, my BMI was still normal. However, due to Asian Beauty Standards, I was considered as fat and I started to receive a lot of criticism about my weight. There was a guy who I liked, let's name him Bob (by the way, he is the perfect example of a douchebag). He was very mean to me and he made fun of my weight. I remember clearly what he said to me once when we were heading to science lab. Our science lab was on the second floor and he said: "Eh, you know right, all the ants just died when you walked." and "You wait for us to go up first, you only come up kay. Because I scared the staircase will collapse. HAHAHA!" Yes, that was how bad the situation was. But I was just laughing through the pain.

That was when I started to workout, go to gym almost every day and skip meals. And, I started to hate myself, I started to hate looking into mirrors and I started to have a lot of insecurities. I was literally shocked when I saw my weight on the weighing machine scale, I was at my heaviest of 57kg. I started to feel guilty after my meals even though I didn't eat that much and I know it was very unhealthy to feel this way but I just can't help it. I tried to stay in my room all the time and I started to lose all my confidence. :'(

Normally, I'll talk to my family/parents when I face any difficulties in school, but I just couldn't tell them about this and I bottled everything up. Because my family also started to comment on how much weight I've put on and I don't want to make them feel bad. I wasn't mad at all because I acknowledged that I've gained some weight too. 

I really like all these workouts as they are all very targeted towards certain muscles. I always make sure to do stretching and some simple yoga after my workout to prevent muscle bulk formation.